Last night I went to my favorite new grocery store. It’s independent, locally-owned, the produce is killer, and the prices beat the farmer’s market and the mega-chain “natural” food store. Awesome.
I’m at the deli case, trying to get some tamales. There are about half a dozen people standing around, but they’re couples, and all of them are already being helped. So I’m next. Yay!
Deli Lady: Who’s next?
Me: Me.
Deli Lady: [to the group] Everyone needs to take a number. [Points to number dispenser 60 feet away at the other end of the counter.]
Random Stranger #1: When did they put in a number thing?
Me: I don’t know. First time I’ve seen it.
Deli Lady: Who’s next?
Me: Me.
Deli Lady: Do you have a number?
Me: I’m next. Everyone else has-
Deli Lady: [to the group] Please take a number. Who’s next?
Me: Me! I’m next.
Deli Lady: What number?
Random Stranger #2: He’s next. Everybody else is being helped.
Deli Lady: Next!
Me: Ummm… that’s still me.
Random Stranger #2 & #3: [Chuckle under their breath at my misfortune.]
Me: [To no one in particular] I guess I’ll go get a number.
Deli Lady: Who’s next?
Me: I’m still next.
Deli Lady: Next!
Me: [Grabs number from apparently brand-new ticket machine. Number 5.]
Deli Lady: Does anyone have a number? Who’s next?
Random Stranger #3: [Laughing] I’m pretty sure he’s next.
Me: I’m number 5.
[Three workers return from the back where they have been putting together orders for the 3 parties ahead of me]
Deli Lady: Number 0?
Me: 5
Deli Lady: Number 0?
Number 1?
Number 1?
Number 2?
[The three parties ahead of me have now collected their orders and left. There is no one at the counter besides me.]
Deli Lady: Number 2?
Me: There’s no one else here. I’m number 5.
Deli Lady: Number 3?
Me: Still just me.
[Random Stranger #4 walks over]
Me: [To Random Stranger #4]Get a number. She’s real serious about the numbers.
Deli Lady: Number 3?
Number 4?
Number 4?
Number 4?
Number 5?
Me: I’m number 5.
Deli Lady: Good! How can I help you?
