I don’t really like Starbucks. They’re a mega-chain and all that jazz, but the real reason I don’t like them because their coffee, in my opinion, sucks. I used to go there for those Frappuchinos that they sprinkle crack on top of, but once I got over that addiction, I’ve pretty much given up the ‘Bucks.
Still, it’s a hard thing, being a non-Starbucks person. There are, quite literally, at least five of them within coffee-break distance of my office, including a pair that are about 3 doors down from each other. They’re everywhere.
I may not like the coffee, but the lemonade iced tea is great. Plus you can get it unsweetened. I prefer the DIY approach with fakie sugar. Anyway, I needed to break a twenty for bus change. Whaddaya know, the easist place to go happens to be a Starbucks.
Me: Medium black iced-tea lemonade, unsweetened, please.
Starbucks Guy: We don’t have medium.
Me: OK, small then.
Starbucks Guy: We don’t have small.
Me: Are you guys out of cups or something?
Starbucks Guy: We have tall, grande and venti.
Me: [Not understanding the problem] Right. Medium black iced-tea lemonade, unsweetened.
Starbucks Guy: I just told you there is no medium. Tall, grande or venti.
Me: What ever the middle size is called. The...medium one.
Starbucks Guy: OK. What did you want.
Me: Black iced-tea lemonade. Unsweetened.
Starbucks Guy: What size?
Me: The middle one.
Starbucks Guy: OK. Grande black iced-tea lemonade, unsweetened.Got it!
Me: Yes. Thanks.
Starbucks guy: [Turns around to start pouring my drink.] Do you want black or green tea?
Me: Black.
Starbucks Guy: We don’t have any black tea.
Me: Nevermind, then.
